Real Friends
A lot gets written about the value of family. And to be sure, I agree. However, it seems like one thing that gets taken for granted is friendship. Now, when I talk about friends, I'm not talking about the people you hang out with, or the people who happen to be at work with you or in your class. Basically, I think people use the term "friend" too lightly.

No, I'm talking about real, true friends. The people who not only share your interests, or joke around with you, but are really there for you when you need them. People willing to bend over backward for you, and for whom you'd do the same. People you can really trust, either with personal, private information, or to watch your back. People who will tell you the truth when you need to hear it, and know you well enough to know when you do (and when you don't).

Maybe that's one of the major criteria for being a friend: someone who's taken the time and spent the energy to really get to know you. Someone who knows how you think, how you feel, and what you need.

The bonds of friendship can be extraordinarily strong. I found some really good friends way back in high school (that was 16 or 17 years ago). Some of us have stuck closer than others (my friend Bruce and I still live only about two miles apart), but we're still all friends. Despite families, jobs, the many miles separating us, and all the other things that life musters to tear people apart, we still all get together over a weekend about once a year. And when we do, it's like we're right back where we left off. (The picture on this page is from one of our recent get-togethers.)

Like I said, I think people take friendship for granted. And even when we don't, it's clear that the rest of the world does. How often, for example, do people move for a job, or to be near family, or to go where the person they are romantically involved with is? (And how weird is it that we've probably all known more people who've moved for jobs than for the other two?)

Now, how many people have you known who've moved to be near their friends? Well, you know of at least one -- I did. When I first worked as a freelancer and could live anywhere, I moved to Colorado mainly because that's where my friend Bruce was at the time. The notion might even seem absurd to you. In fact, if you heard that someone was moving to be near a friend, you might even suspect that they were romantically involved or something.

But why is it absurd? Think about how much time you spend with other people, and how important people are in your life. Shouldn't you surround yourself with only the best people -- your real, true friends?

There are, of course, lots of great stories about friendship. None is probably greater than The Lord of the Rings. I mean, wouldn't you want a friend like Sam? The camaraderie of soldiers in war, like in Band of Brothers (book and TV miniseries), is well known. And of course D&D itself is all about working together with others you can trust to face great dangers (well, imaginary ones, anyway) and come out on top.

But do we really have to go through terrible times to appreciate our real friends? I know that I truly value those individuals that I call friend, and I spend as much time with them as I can. And if it doesn't come easy, I make time. Friends -- real friends -- are just too important and too rare to ignore. I think that if you find a true friend, you should fight all your life to hang onto that friendship.

If you find yourself thinking, "Ah, I'll just make new friends," you might be wrong. If you think, "I don't need friends. I'll be okay on my own," definitely think again.

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